“Hey Nick, Did You Get That One?”

I’m going to go ahead and call it now…half of Barnes’ section is going to be him glaring at the camera after he lands something.

Logging…and Logging…and Logging…

I’ve been logging footage for the past few days and it looks like you guys are in for quite a treat this Fall. Keep your eyes and ears peeled for more info…

The Countdown Begins…

Random Thoughts

So if you’re one of the four people that actually visit this website regularly (hi Mom), I guess you’ve probably noticed that we haven’t posted any new videos since back in the winter. Well, we’ve been hoarding footage like a bunch of selfish five-year-olds and we’re not letting any of it see the light of day until the time is right. When will the time be right, you ask? That’s a great question, and I’ll have an answer for you one of these days. In the meantime though, here’s what’s been on my mind lately.

1. Harley Clifford is a damn beast. Watch this. Try to ignore the super awkward shots of a 15 year old just hanging around the house without a shirt on, flexing for the camera.

2. Is anyone else getting annoyed with people referring to wakeboarding as “shredding?” I agree it was kind of a funny, quirky way to say it at first, but now people say it all the time and it’s starting to grate on my nerves. Get on Facebook and check people’s status: “Going Shredding.” “Getting my shred on.” Shredding all day.” Missing the Shred.” Anyone want to shred?” It doesn’t end, and it seems like everyone and their cousin says it now. I’m not going to name any names, but come on guys. Like Uncle Joey says: “Cut it out.”

3. Has anyone seen any shots of people wakeboarding in short sleeve button up shirts yet?

4. I wakeboarded for the first time in about a year the other day. As you might have guessed, it was brutal. Everyone in Wilmington, on the other hand, seems to be riding really well.

5. If you’re looking for some new jams, do yourself a favor and check out new records from Phoenix, Isis, Japandroids, Big Business, and Kylesa.

6. Since we don’t have any new videos, I’m going to leave you with this one.

Old Skool – Brad Holland

I’ve been getting the feeling that people don’t believe that I ever actually wakeboard and instead spend my time in front of a computer criticizing people who do. Since I rarely ever get the chance to ride in front of a camera (and never ride well when I do get the chance), I figured I would post this.

I found this at my Mom’s house recently, along with a bunch of old photos and newspaper clippings. It’s my sponsor-me tape from 1998, and it’s a nice little walk down memory lane. Please note the tiny wake and the lack of a tower or extended pylon in most of the shots. Of course, it’s also kind of embarrassing; I spend a lot of time doing stuff like throwing shakas, air rolls, and doing tricks over my buddy Rob while we’re both wearing leisure suits. I also claim the shit out of a trick I filmed myself doing on the trampoline. I was a pretty big dork, but I bet you were too/will be also when you’re 16, so get off my back. You can also see the early developmental stages of my somewhat fiery temper: there are a few times where I either get really pissed at myself or flip off a jet skier.

If you really want to get technical, this is one of the first TA videos ever made. It was edited one night using the old “hook two VCR’s together” method where you just edit in real time using the pause and record buttons. This is probably a third or fourth generation copy, so that’s why it looks so bad. I must have taped over a tape from the school my Mom taught at, because you can definitely see a classroom full of children right before the thing starts.

It’s like a time capsule from the late nineties, so sit back and enjoy some old school wakeboarding set to the soothing sounds of Unwritten Law and Sublime. And don’t be surprised if you get the urge to do a couple air rolls, bleach your hair blond, and wear clothes that are two sizes too big.

Nick G vs Brad H – A Peace Offering

Well, I know we were feuding yesterday, but I figured that I properly put Nick G in his place and we won’t have any more trouble from him for quite some time, so why not post this?

A while back, homeboy landed a Heel Nine in front of the camera for The Wake Place and now it’s the Trick of the Day over there. Click here to check it out.

IN YOUR FACE, NICK G!

Our good buddy Nick G. took it upon himself to provide a counterpoint to my “Hot or Not 2009″ post, and I feel the need to defend my honor and reputation by responding to his criticisms. You may wonder why I would choose to do it as a new post and not in response to his comment. Well, the answer is because I haven’t posted anything in a while and I wanted to make sure that everyone saw me as I dispelled every single thing he said.

First, if you haven’t seen Nick’s comment, you can go check that out right here.

And now, my rebuttal.

Nick, I respect your opinion. But I feel as if I must respond to several of your arguments, as the majority of them simply do not hold water. I’m going to address your comments individually, so as not to confuse any issues.

1. This is the one argument I can’t really argue with: loud trunks do in fact sell very well. You know what else sells very well? Hannah Montana CD’s, Ed Hardy  t-shirts and those stickers that you always see on mini-vans that show a family of stick figures with a character to represent each parent, child and pet. The point is, just because something sells well doesn’t make it cool. Oftentimes, it makes it really lame. I think Kenny Powers said it best when he stated “You know I love you, I think you’re great. But you’ve got clothes like a fuckin’ dickhead.”

2. No self respecting surfer will wear trunks over his fullsuit. This is a cold, hard fact. If you really see this as much as you say, there are only 2 possible explanations: 1) That surfer is making fun of wakeboarders, or 2) That surfer is a massive tool. Either way, it doesn’t help your argument.

3. Jealous? Listen kid, I was doing melan 180’s into the flats before you could even say “Froggy Soven.” I don’t really think I need to say anything else.

4. Glad to see you have some kind of sense.

5. The System 2.0 is bad ass, and in retrospect, I probably should have included it on the list. But it’s apples and oranges compared to a winch. Besides the obvious cost difference, you can use a winch in far more places and transport it far easier than a 2.0 setup. And that’s what makes the whole winch thing so cool: versatility. Plus, I don’t have a pond or private lake in my backyard where I could keep a System 2.0, and I’m willing to bet that the majority of riders don’t either.

6. Tell your friend to take themselves to work. No one like a mooch.

Feel free to continue with your criticisms at your convenience, but do be prepared for me to absolutely disprove beyond a shadow of a doubt every argument you produce. And I hope your knee feels better.

Party In The City Where The Heat Is On

Well, I’m getting ready to get on a plane and fly south to announce the Board Up Miami contest this weekend. Like Will Smith said, I’ll be bouncin’ in the club where the heat is on, all night on the beach till the break of dawn.

I talked to Adam Fields last night and he said that the hotel is right in the middle of South Beach and there’s a party every night of the contest. I’ve never spent much time in the MIA, so I’m pretty psyched. I’m thinking about trying to track down the Miami Ink guys and get a sweet tribal tatt while I’m down there.

Wish me luck, and if you’re in the area, come check out the contest. ‘Cause there’s water so clear you can see to the bottom, Hundred thousand dollar cars eybody got em, Aint no surprise in the club to see Sly Stallone, Miami my second home.

Hot or Not: Spring 2009

Wakeboarding trends come and go…Some are ahead of their time and some completely wear out their welcome. In an attempt to keep you on the cutting edge of trends and fashion in the wake industry, I’ve provided this handy little guide for 2009. It’s kind of a long read, but you should read it, know it, and live it. Whatever you do, just don’t go against what I say, because this is the internet, and opinions are facts around here.

We’ll start with the “Not’s” because they’re more prominent in the sport and it’s always fun to call people out.

5. Loud Boardshorts - Come on people, this is not the early 90’s. It’s not even cool in an ironic sense anymore; dudes in 2009 shouldn’t be dressing ironically. The neon and the wild patterns need to go, otherwise we’ll never get respect from the other boardsports. And we all know that’s the most important thing, right???

4. Fullsuits With Boardshorts - I know, we’ve all probably done it at some point. But just because I had a Vanilla Ice tape in third grade doesn’t mean I still bump it. Jeff McKee effectively put this trend to rest recently with a few clicks on the keyboard over at Alliance’s website. He said “Fullsuits with boardshorts are the number one indicator of a small wiener.” Well played, sir. Well played.

3. Big Ol’ Melan 180’s - There was a time not too long ago when this trick would have been at the number 1 spot on the “Hot” list, but times they have a-changed and this trick is officially played out. When you watch the Pro Tour on TV and see every single rider do the same trick in their pass, it gets kind of old. A big Melan 180 into the flats has become the S-Bend of the 21st century. Time to move on, fellas.

2. Bandanas - Seriously, you guys are not in a biker gang. Like a lot of great fashion trends, this one seemed to start on the West Coast (most notably Canyon Lake, CA) and migrate across the country. Wakeboarders have been spotted with bandanas and other cranial accessories for several years now, and normal people everywhere cant help but wonder why. There’s no good reason why wakeboarders should dress like Aunt Jemima, unless maybe because you have really long hair. Which brings us to our #1 played out trend of 2009:

1. Really Long Hair - This has been a growing problem for some time now (see what I did there?) and it’s time to cut it out (I’m on fire!). It’s gotten to the point where I can’t tell the difference between Surf Expo and a Widespread Panic show. You guys are not Samson, you can cut that shit off and still be able to do your tricks. You’ll probably be better off because your hair won’t be slapping you in the eyeballs and you won’t have to wear that stupid bandana. Even Eric Ruck cut his hair last fall, and that dude pretty much led the hair-farming revolution of the past five years. It’s wakeboarding in 2009, and long haired freaky people need not apply. (Note – Collin Harrington’s the man, but I found a shot of him committing two wake fashion faux pas at the same time and couldn’t help but use it.)

Now, on to the “Hot” list. Keep your eyes open, cause you’re about to see this stuff everywhere you turn.

5. Riding in Short Sleeve Button Down Shirts - Wake-a-holics like myself usually avoid a collared shirt like the plague, but we all have to grow up sometime. People have been riding in t-shirts for years, mainly because it looks cool, it feels cool, and it covers up a farmer’s tan really well. Now, you can get the same effects of riding in a t-shirt, but look a little more grown up while you do it. Plus, you’ll already have a collared shirt ready to go when it’s time to go looking for a job. It’s a win-win!

4. Summerbirds in the Cellar - These guys are hotter than Hell in the wake scene right now. They’ve got mags reviewing their records, pro riders rocking their t-shirts, and video guys using the jams in their movies. I hope these guys have some polarized shades, because their future is looking bright. They’ve got a new record coming out, so go scoop it up and play it on the boat. It’ll probably make you ride better. Note – An honorable mention has to go to Young Brother, who also appear to be kicking out some quality jams.

3. Winches – They’re not really a new idea, but winches are going to straight blow up in 2009. Why? Because we’re currently in an apocalyptic recession and people are freaking out about money. Desperate times call for desperate measures and if you can’t afford a boat, then you’re going to have to figure out another way to get yer shred on. You’re going to see a lot guys taking it to the streets in ‘09, doing really cool things at spots that were once deemed untouchable. You’ll also probably see a lot of video of riders getting hassled by the police, which will both increase your core score and make us laugh at the same time. I just hope there’s not a widespread drought anytime soon, because we’d really be screwed then.

2. Flex Boards – If you’ve ever read these pages before, you know that we have a huge boner for Slingshot Wakeboards. But it’s not just us; people everywhere are figuring out that flex technology just might be the wave of the future, and it’s resulted in the biggest technological revolution the sport has seen since every manufacturer decided to take a jigsaw to their boards and call it a “bat tail design.” New players are popping up left and right: Slingshot, Company, Humanoid, not to mention the more established brands tinkering around with flex technology. Plus, it’s the single most talked about topic on internet discussion boards, just beating out “Which Boat is Best?” and “Why Aren’t the Girls On Tour This Year?” for the top spot. When the history books have been written and we look back on 2009, it will be known as “The Year That Wake Flexed Its Muscle.” Well, probably not, but it should be, because that sounds really bad ass.

1. Wakeskating - Again, definitley not new, but you’re going to see much more cool stuff from the wakeskaters than you will from the wakeboarders this year, because on top of all the economic reasons (see #2), it’s just cooler. I know Nick is going to give me hell for saying that, but it’s true. Wakeskating is at a point right now that is very similar to the early days of wakeboarding when new riders were coming out of nowhere and blowing minds. It’s just going to be way more exciting to watch unfold and these guys are going to have jaws dropping and cameras firing for the rest of year.  It’s going to be cool to see what goes down…

To sum things up, I can’t believe that you read this much. Seriously, that was so long; you should give yourself a hand. Now go throw away your bandanas, get a haircut and get out there with your wakeskate, winch and button down shirt. You’re now on the cutting edge of wakeboarding fashion…You’re welcome. Now make me proud out there.

“He Risked Loosing It All”

You know when you see something and you’re immediately embarrassed for everyone involved? I saw this on the Obscura blog and it looks like it’s a real movie that’s coming out this summer. My money’s on a straight-to-DVD release.

If I know anything, I know this: nothing gets a crowd pumped quite like a dozen rolls to revert set to the music of Trapt. No wonder everyone things that wakeboarders are kooks.

Top Five Awesome Stuff – March 2009

1. East Bound and Down

2. Guitar Hero: Metallica

3. The Real Housewives of New York

4. UNC losing to Florida State in the ACC tournament

5. Daylight Savings Time

Get into it.

Who?

OH SNAP! NEW COMPUTER IN THE HOUSE!

Check out what I’ll be looking at for the next nine months straight. I guess if our stuff sucks now, it’s not because of inadequate equipment…

Stay tuned…

Winter ‘09 – Part Three

Hey, remember us? Remember that trilogy of wakeboard videos we promised you this winter? Well here’s the final installment.

After the Ft. Myers leg of their trip, Nick and Clay met up with the UNCW wakeboard club at Adam Fields’ house on Lake Brantley. Judging from the footy, Adam’s been ripping this winter and has been doing a fair amount of arts and crafts with his board. Also ripping is Adam’s new roommate Derek Cook, who made the move from Cali to the superior American coastline last Fall.

Plus, there’s some footy of the UNCW wakeboard team enjoying their winter break in the Sunshine State, as well as a few shots of our good buddy Travis Propst. Because, in all honesty, if we ever made a video that didn’t have Travis in it, I’m not sure we would know how to act. We’d probably all hate it and call it something like “Not Without My Travis.” It would really be pretty weird.

So anyway, here’s the video. Keep an eye out for Clay falling on a heelside air and a whole lot of blatant sponsor shots and product placement. Because, as Nick would say “Shit yeah, you gots to get paid.”

Shredtown

These days, wakeboard blogs are like assholes: everyone has one and lots of them smell like shit. But the dudes from Shredtown are pretty legit and have been putting out some cool videos over the past few months.

They just put up a new video of full of winching in Dallas and it’s definitely worth a couple viewings. They hit some pretty cool gaps, have a big ol’ time and even get hassled by the man. I think Nick said it best when he said they make it all look really fun. Plus, the music is that song “Huddle Formation” by the Go Team and I’ve always thought that was a hot jam.

So yeah, check them out and leave a comment or something. Cause nothing makes you feel like a bad ass quite as much as when dudes you don’t know leave comments about your videos. The internet is serious business, son.

www.shredtown.blogspot.com

POSEIDEN LOOK AT MEEEEEE!

Do you:

1. Love boats?
2. Get down to some T-Pain?
3. Enjoy gratuitous amounts of profanity?

Well, boy oh boy, are you in luck!

I’m Leaving the CWS

Okay, so after a lot of thinking and speaking with Rob, I wanted to let you guys know that I won’t be working with the CWS anymore.

It’s been four or five pretty awesome years, but all good things must eventually come to an end. As some of you know, I just moved and started a new job and there is so much going on right now that there’s no way I’d be able to give the CWS the same amount of effort and energy that I have in the past. I figured it would be better to just bow out gracefully now than try to make it work and quite possibly end up bailing on Rob halfway through the season.

There’s no drama or hard feelings and I’m sure that Rob will keep putting on awesome contests. As for me, I’ll be learning my way around the wonderful world of insurance here at Lake Norman and hopefully riding every now and then. It’s been rad getting to know all you guys and I hope I’ll be able to make it out to a few contests this summer and see everyone.

Be sure to stay tuned here, though; Nick and I have a few tricks up our sleeves for 2009. Anyway, this is getting a little too cheesy and self-important, so I’m going to leave it at that. Thanks…

Brad

PS – I guess Rob is looking for an announcer now, so if any of you have mad flow on the mic and know the tricks, give him a shout.

Winter ‘09: Part Two

I realize that this has been a long time coming, but give us a break…it’s winter and we’ve only got so much footy that we have to last us until Spring. Speaking of which, how about this weather? I hope somebody out there on the world wide web got to ride this weekend, because I sure didn’t.

I did make my way over to the boat show here in Charlotte and I must say that need to scrounge up about $92,000 because that Byerly Edition boat that Correct Craft released last year is looking on point.

Anyway, here’s the second part of our epic Winter ‘09 mini-series. This episode finds our heroes at the new cable park in Ft. Myers, FL. They try their hand at constructing a seaworthy vessel out of cardboard, then go and tear the rooftop rail to shreds.  Check it out and stay tuned; I’m making a trip down to Wilmington next weekend to edit part three.

Winter ‘09: Part One

Well, it’s been a while since I’ve posted anything due to a much-deserved break over the holiday season. Seriously. I work really hard and sometimes you just gotta take a break, so I spent the majority of the holiday season eating, drinking, and not taking part in much physical activity. I popped into some internet chat rooms and checked on my Shred Till Death homeboys, but for the most part I’m pretty out of loop and haven’t thought a whole lot about wakin.’

Nick, on the other hand, has been busy as a bee. He and Clay had their little love jaunt to Orlando right before Christmas and now he’s packing his bags to head back this weekend to celebrate Martin Luther King’s birthday. Add that to the Christmas and New Years schedule, and it might seem like he has a full plate, but he somehow managed to find the time to put together a summary of his trip last month. Check it out below and be sure to stay tuned for the next installments in the series, as well as updates from the road this weekend.

Should old acquaintance be forgot, it’s 2009 bitches. Happy New Year…

PS – If you want to see the video in HD, go check out the TA page on Vimeo. That’s right: HIGH DEFINITION. We’ve hit the big time, son. Expect big things…

Nice Scarecrow, Nick

Nick and Clay have been reporting in with updates from their excursion to Florida and everything is going well. They’ve been hanging out with T Propst and Adam Fields and thanks to our friend Jessica, they’ve gotten some shots to prove it.

Adam was so psyched on his new board that he went out and did some methods that could have poked somebody’s eye out.

While they were in Orlando, some mark ass trick stepped on Clay Martin’s sneakers, then poured Morton salt all over him. When asked about the exchange, Clay did this stalefish and said “Let’s roll on them fools at their own barbeque.”

It wasn’t all fun and games, though…Looks like Nick was doing work while he was down there.

Stay tuned for some of the footy. Thanks for the shots, Jessica!

More Not Wakeboarding

Sorry folks. If you’re going through wake withdrawals, go to Wakeworld and check out their forum. I hear that Aaron Rathy is riding for Byerly now and Jimmy LaRiche landed a 1080. Yeah baby, a mother-effing TEN EIGHTY!!!

However, despite the lack of activity up here in NC, a little bird told me that Nick and Clay, wakeboarding’s hottest new couple, are on a little Florida getaway to visit some friends and rumor has it they took a bad ass new camera with them. Stay tuned to see what went down.

Anyway, here’s something funny that has nothing whatsoever to do with wakin.’

PS – How ’bout them Panthers???

‘Tis The Season

Via Craig’s List…It’s almost certainly fake, but you gotta give the dude credit for originality…

PlayStation 3 (the city)
Reply to: sale-948408751@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2008-12-07, 10:54AM EST

I have a Brand new in-box PlayStation 3 gaming system that you can obtain for a special price. It is the 80gb model and includes 2 brand new dualshock 3 wireless controllers.I do not want your money or thanks. To obtain this top of line gaming system, you must let me punch you in the face three times and your child must be present. If you have multiple children, I would prefer you bring your youngest child. This is not a joke. If you want to be your children’s hero on Christmas, we will meet at a location that I will specify to you, and I will proceed to punch you in the face in front of your child. You may brace yourself if you want before I begin to punch you, for I am a man of large stature (6′6, 275lbs) In between each punch, I want you to instruct your child not cry. If your child so much as whimpers, the deal is off. Don’t think I am a man to be trifled with or that you and a friend can ambush me. I am a former NAVY SEAL and a veteran of the Irag War.

This is the best deal you will ever find on a PlayStation 3. A truly unique offer. You are welcome to inspect the product for authenticity before the deal is done.
Email me for more specific details and we can arrange a rendevous.

Merry Christmas.

* Location: the city
* it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Cheah

Dope son.

Get some

SHRED ‘TIL DEATH!!!

Found this on the Wakeworld discussion forums. I still can’t figure out if it’s for real or not, but it’s pretty funny either way.

This is a message I recieved from a friend early morning on November 15, this is how my crew thinks about shredding and i hope yours does too…hope you enjoy.

Our lives are gifts dude. Being able to shred is a gift. Do you know what introduced you to shred? I don’t even know, because I know I skate and wakeboarded for a while, not truly understanding what shredding really meant. I don’t think until recently like in the past couple years I really understood what shredding is. Shredding is a term that should not be taken lightly. I know it is thrown around like duuuude lets shred the gnar and stuff like that. But shred, shredding and the shred have a deep true meaning. I believe it is a word understood by a select few, and the shred is the only way to describe this way of life. Try to imagine a life without shred, no skate, no wake, no snow, who would we be? What would we live for, what would we get pumped about? What would we think about? What would we try to do with our lives? Its nuts thinking about how much this shred thing has affected our lives, seriously dude, what would we be talking about without our love for shredding, trying to make a load of money? But to do what with? Buy a big house and a fast car? I just think that shredding puts a lot of things in perspective like some of the best things in life aren’t hard to obtain if you want it for the right reason, I just think its so badass that we know what fuels us and we know what truly makes us happy and we can live this life, its just a matter of choice, people could see us as bums or losers cause we’re not making a lot of money, which seems to be the most important thing in our society, I dunno dude, I guess what im trying to say is we’re really lucky to have this shred thing cause I feel like all the rest don’t have anything like that and don’t really know what to want other than a job that pays a lot no matter how boring and time consuming the job is, it’s a trip to think about how we’re just humans living on planet earth and we do this thing we call shredding and we love it, we think it’s the most badass thing that exists, we think about it everyday, we want to do it every chance we get, it really is apart of us, we really do have something that very few have, a passion, something we love, something we pursue, we wont ever change, we are shredders for life, lets all be thankful for the shred in our lives and thank God that we have something that we really do love. This life is short, we will all die at some point, we all have awesome lives especially us shredders, lets live everyday we are able and never look back, we gotta stay true to what we love and not fall into any kind of bs, we have been givin many gifts, we are blessed dude, we have a lot, be thankful and live well brotha, shred all you can cause it’s a gift, one life dude we have only one life, only one, and we know what we wanna do with it, we’re gonna shred till we die, why would we do anything else!? STD!! Shred Till Death!!!

Woah.

Do You See What I See?

There’s tons of cool artsy design stuff like this here…

Who?

Nobody sees whats comin.

Happy Halloween!

In honor of the holiday, I’m listening to nothing but The Misfits all day. Some old AFI jams might make it in there, but only the ones from back when Davey Havock thought he was the second coming of Glen Danzig.

Now go get some candy, you crazy kids…

Robble Robble

Robble robble robble robble robble robble robble robble. Robble, robble robble robble robble robble robble. Robble robble robble robble.

Robble robble robble robble robble robble robble robble robble robble robble, robble robble robble robble robble robble robble robble robble. Robble robble robble robble robble robble robble robble robble robble robble robble robble robble robble robble robble robble robble robble; robble robble robble robble!!!!

Robble, robble robble robble robble robble robble robble robble robble robble robble. Robble robble robble robble robble robble robble robble robble robble robble robble robble robble robble robble robble robble robble robble robble. Robble robble robble robble.

Robble, robble robble. Robble robble robble robble robble robble robble robble robble robble robble robble robble robble, robble robble robble robble robble robble robble robble robble robble robble.

Robble robble robble!!!

Featured Rider – Clay Martin

Wilmington is a pretty cool place to be.

There’s all kinds of fun stuff to do, lots of cool people to bro down with, and a wakeboard scene that’s steadily growing year after year. Anyone who has made the trip to the Northeast Cape Fear River can vouch for the endless amounts of awesome that the place has to offer, and we’re starting to see a new batch of riders that have apparently been taking advantage of it all.

One of those riders is Clay Martin. When you see him in public, Clay just looks like a wakeboarder; he’s tall and skinny and he loves wearing jerseys. I don’t think he shaves very often and he’s one of the funniest dudes I’ve hung out with in a while.

But here’s the thing that I really admire about Clay: he painted his board. As someone who has done his fair share of board-painting, I have to say I’m impressed with Clay’s dilligence and attention to detail. Whereas, in my younger days, I would simply take a can of spray paint and give my board a whole new paint job, Clay actually integrated the original design into the new color scheme on his Watson 142. I have to say that it’s a stunning interpretation which is both original and thought provoking. It makes you say to yourself “Hey, I thought that board was red and white…”

He’s pretty good at actually riding that board too. He was seen on top of the podium several times in the intermediate division of the CWS this past summer, including the series final at Riverfest. Word is he’s working on that whirly 5 and will be moving up to open next year, so keep your eyes peeled, cause Clay Martin is coming at you all so real right now.

To celebrate the purchase of his brand new computer, Nick made this video of Clay and his bros over the weekend. Enjoy…

See you all in Greenville this weekend for CWS Halloween…

Top Five Bands That Should Never Be In Another Wakeboard Video. Ever.

If you’ve ever met me or had a conversation with me, you probably know that I can occasionally have some rather strong opinions. Well, the good thing about having a blog is the illusion that the general public actually gives a shit about your opinions. I also have this thing about making lists all the time. So, with that in mind, here is an issue I feel quite strongly about: the top five bands who should never again provide the soundtrack to a wakeboarding video. Because this is really important stuff, you know?

5. MGMT - These guys haven’t been popular for too long, but already they’ve taken the wakeboarding world by storm. They’re everywhere; over the weekend of Expo, I probably heard them on like fifty separate occasions. They’ve only been in one video that I know of (Ben Greenwood’s part in Drive), but I can already see them getting out of hand. We need to nip this one in the bud, people.

4. Pennywise – I admit that I loved Full Circle as much as anyone, but for the love of God, someone tell me why it’s so hard for editors to let go of this band? Sure they were all the rage back in ‘98, but it’s the 21st century now and they’ve released essentially the same record no less than eight times. Get over it, guys. Extra shame on anyone who actually picks one of their best songs for a video but decides to use a crappy, lackluster version for the part. I’m looking at you, Kilgus.

3. The Black Eyed Peas – I can think of two video parts they’ve provided the soundtrack for and you know what? That’s way too many. This band is the absolute worst. I would rather hear my only child screaming in terror from a burning building than hear anything this band has released ever again.

2.The Faint - The first couple times we heard them, it seemed like a match made in heaven. They bridged the gap between electronica and rock so well that it seemed like the perfect combination; jams that could get you fired up to ride and then fired up to shake that ass. The songs had really cool beats and they provided editors with lots of opportunities to make creative cuts, so they popped up in a few videos. And then they popped up in some more videos. Until finally, they were in no less than two videos a year in wakeboarding alone; not to mention the countless surf, skate, and snow flicks they’ve provided a soundtrack for. They just put out a new record, so God only knows what 2009 has in store; hopefully they won’t get as much attention since they left their longtime label Saddle Creek Records. Which leads me to the number one spot:

1. Any Artist on Saddle Creek Records – As much as I appreciate pretty much everything they do, I believe the blame for the Saddle Creek/wakeboarding phenomenon rests solely on the shoulders of Thomas Horrell, Chase Heavener,and the whole Attention Deficit crew. Remember Invisible Cinema? That movie was just barely over twenty minutes long and had at least three Saddle Creek songs on it. Admittedly, it’s kind of their thing and I can’t really knock them for having their own style, but they opened a flood gate that desperately needs to be closed. The funniest thing is that I’ve seen parts from other editors that used, say, a Cursive song and you could tell that they were trying to edit the way the Attention Deficit guys edited. They would add shots of a TV full of static and a bunch of tight cuts with the music and it was so obvious that they were copying the stuff they saw in Invisible Cinema. Anyway, long story short, stick a fork in the Saddle Creek thing; it’s time to move on to a new label.

I wonder who MGMT is signed to?

EDIT – I have no idea why the Faint artwork is centered. It lines up right if you click on the post itself, so get off my back.

Dear FreeCreditReport.com,

KNOCK IT OFF. Your commercials are the audio/visual equivalent of AIDS. Every time I hear one of those stupid songs, it makes me want to shake a baby or punch an old lady in the face. Who is the guy that came up with these commercials? If I ever find out who is responsible, I will quit my job and make it my life mission to somehow get that individual fired.

For the love of God, take these commercials off the air.

Love,

Brad

Expo ‘08

Well, I’ve caught up on my sleep and I’m slowly getting back in the groove following my long weekend in the Sunshine State. Expo was pretty cool; we saw some old friends, talked to some people about next year’s CWS tour, and had an all around good time. Unfortunately, I don’t have any shots from the show, but just know that there is a lot of really cool stuff getting ready to drop for 2009.

UGP’s clothing lineup looks really cool and their new vests are pretty slick as well. Slingshot and Liquid Force both have killer lineups this year, and just about all of the smaller wakeskate companies like Oak, Integrity, and Sattelyte had pretty sweet goods. Alliance has several projects up their sleeves this year, including the Parks Bonifay documentary, which from the looks of the trailer they had going at their booth, looks like it’s going to be insane.

The highlight of the weekend was Red Bull’s Wake Lab project on Lake Eola on Saturday night. Crazy rails, crazy riders, crazy times. I don’t have any pictures of that either, but I stole the above picture from some guy on Wake World; go there to see some more. The guys and gals at Red Bull are doing all kinds of great stuff for wakeboarding; can’t wait to see what they do next.

Big thanks to Adam for letting me crash at his house Sunday night and to Travis for getting me to the airport Monday. Back to the real world; see you guys at Wake the Lake…

Collegiate Wakeboard Regionals

Fabian Ashley called last night to chat it up about a few things, including the upcoming Collegiate Wakeboard Regionals, which are set to go down September 27th in Wilmington. This is the regional qualifier for Collegiate Nationals, and if that sounds familiar, it might be because you saw the antics of the UNCW wake team at last year’s event in Pennsylvania.

The critically acclaimed video was a hard-hitting look at the life and times of a collegiate wakeboard team on the road, trying to put their school on the map. For those of you who need a reminder or missed it altogether the first go-round, feast your eyes:

Doesn’t that look like fun? Well, if you want to check out the action firsthand, clear your schedule for September 27th and keep your ears open for more info. Fabian’s working on getting a bunch of schools to participate, so it should be fun. I’ll be on the mic for the event and I fully intend to turn on the charm and lie to some freshmen chicks about my age.

Brad’s Best of 2008 (so far) Mix

I’m a huge music nerd and it has been said in the past that I have pretty awesome tastes. It’s also been said that I have horrible tastes, but those people really like Jack Johnson and Dave Mathews, so they obviously have no credibility. Anyway, since I’m a total loser, I make mixtapes and I figured I’d post the latest one I’ve made.

Click here to download the jams.

Now fair warning; you’re probably not going to like all these songs, but I guarantee that you’ll like some of them. Click below for the tracklisting and descriptions. Yeah, I’m a dork. Whatever. You’ll thank me later.

Attn: Knoxville

Lock up your daughters. We’ll be there in 8 days.

Speaking of…

So i was cleaning out my computer today and i found some wakeboarding pictures i would like to share.  This is the only time i have ever taken wake pics, but hey, shit was fun.

Not-So-Blurry Photos

See that? You know what that is? It’s a two page spread from the September issue of Alliance. Does it look familiar? Well it should because it’s Travis Propst and it was taken at Wrightsville Beach. Does that sound familiar? Well it should because we just posted a video that included some clips from that very same day. Duh. Anyway, be sure to check it out.

And while we’re on the subject of checking things out, be sure to check out Jason Lee’s website, Blurry Photos. He came up with Jeff and Travis and got the shot at Wrightsville. Dude’s got some serious skills behind the lens and if you look carefully, you might see some familiar faces on his site.

For what it’s worth, the above photo of a photo was taken with my cell phone since I don’t have a camera, so you can imagine that the real thing loks much better. But I really shouldn’t have to tell you that, you big dummy.

TA Legal Department – Announcement #1

1. As a general rule, when browsing the comments section, do not click on Ronnie’s name, regardless of what this “Nighthawk” fella is suggesting.

2. If you do click on Ronnie’s name, it may or may not lead to a “good time,” as suggested by the aforementioned “Nighthawk.” However, be advised that Teleprompted Anthems, Inc does not endorse or approve of such suggestions. Furthermore, Teleprompted Anthems, Inc does not condone the mistreatment or disrespect of ladies, barnyard animals, or cake. Especially cake.

3. Who is Nighthawk??

Featured Riders – Travis Propst and Jeff House

Slingshot is so hot right now.

I don’t really know what else to say; dudes are on a roll. Their boards are sick, their team is sick, the videos on their website are sick; they pretty much just reek of sickness. They’ve made a bunch of noise this season and it seems like somebody’s taking the plunge and buying one of their decks every time you turn around.

So when Nick said that Travis Propst, who rides for Slingshot, was coming up to Wilmington with teammate Jeff House and photographer Jason Lee, I was pretty psyched, if not a little jealous that I was up here hating my life while they were down there going off and having a blast. Oh, but don’t worry: Nick sent me the tapes so I could see all the fun times and laughing and playing and singing that I missed out on.

Here’s a little video I threw together featuring all the sunshine and smiles and happiness that I couldn’t make it down for. Thanks guys; maybe I’ll catch you next time.

Actually, I probably won’t because I’m on my way down the slippery slope that is life. It starts with a job, then maybe you get a new car. Boy, you have it made! Things are going great! Then all of a sudden you have a house and a mortgage and an overwhelming amount of credit card debt. Then, at work you have bunch of deadlines you’ll never meet and pressure from your co-workers who can’t even handle their own damn jobs and then you feel like you can’t take it anymore and so you wander over to the nearest bar and search through an entire bottle of single malt scotch for the affection and comfort that is so painfully absent in your life. Then, later that night, through a sequence of events you can’t even recall, you knock up the slutty hostess with the missing front tooth, only to later find out that you despise her even more than you despise yourself and she’s having your illegitimate “love” child and there’s nothing you can do about it, so you wind up marrying this horrible person and spending your nights walking the streets aimlessly after your trip to the store to buy baby formula, doing whatever it takes to keep you out of the house and coming any closer to climbing into the crawlspace with the gun that belonged to your father (who never actually loved you) and putting a loud, messy end to this pitiful excuse for a life that you have so haphazardly made for yourself.

Anyway, it sure looks like those guys had fun! Jeff’s even wearing a pirate hat in one shot! Enjoy the video!!!

O-Town, Here I Come

Pretty psyched right now; I just booked my flight for Surf Expo. Although it’s taken a year and a half, living in Greensboro has finally paid off, in the form of a nonstop flight to Orlando for $60 round trip. It would cost way more than that just to get down there if I was driving. I’m all for road trips, but I just couldn’t turn that down. Of course, it came out to about 100 bucks after all the fees and the convenience charges and the f__k you taxes that they added on, but whatevs. I just hope they stay in business long enough to get me there and back.

To add to my good mood, I just got back from seeing “The Dark Knight.” All I’m going to say is that it will go down in history as the most awesome GD movie of 2008, no questions asked.

Also, has anyone noticed that every video we’ve done all year has been taken from the same year old footage? Everyone call Nick and tell him to get in the game and send me some tapes to edit.

Rejected CWS Teaser

A while back, Rob Mendieta asked me to put together a teaser for the 2008 CWS tour, and so I did. The thing is, he wasn’t very psyched on the original version.

In my defense, Rob’s description went like this: “Yeah, you know. Something EPIC. Something that grabs your attention. Something with a lot of SLOW MO. Really hard tricks, yeah, that’s the ticket! Oh, and be sure to make it really HEAVY HITTING with lots of fast cuts and a fast pace, you know? Really QUICK CUTS, okay? Oh, you know what I mean. It needs to be really good, okay? Seriously. Really good, got it?”

Now I ask you, dear reader: would you have any idea just what the hell he was talking about? Of course not, me neither. Anyway, I think he likes the final version, and it should be posted on the CWS site soon, so keep your eyes peeled for it.

Also, I’m fully aware that the videos look like total ass, and I’m trying to figure out why. Once I figure it out, I’ll re-post them with better quality. Sorry they look so rough. If anyone wants to send me a bunch of money so I can get them hosted properlike on a steaming server, feel free to send it my way. If we all do a little, we can do a lot.

PS – Two posts in one day! I’m on fire!

Whoah, Buddy

Looks like shit got real up in here while I was gone. And I thought I was the only one who took his frustrations out on the internet; well done Nick!

As far as the grammar goes, everyone pretty much knows that if the post looks like a 5-year-old special ed student wrote it, chances are pretty good that Nick was the one who posted it. Just saying.

Since I haven’t been around in a while, I figured I’d leave you with some random thoughts to discuss amongst yourselves until next time.

1. Liquid Force makes great wakeskates. I just got a 42″ Reed and it rode like a dream in the rough waters of White Lake.

2. Forget Drive, I can’t wait to see The Dark Knight. I am also really looking forward to the DVD release of Iron Man since I missed it in theaters.

3. On Friday I’m getting an iPhone. I will then be the coolest person you know. I’m accepting applications now to decide who will be the first person I call. If you’re interested, get your submission in ASAP; there’s only 2 days, 18 hours and 20 minutes until they go on sale.

4. I want Carrie Underwood to be my girlfriend.

Annoyed

honestly,

I’ve been waiting for that video Drive to come out for like two months.  Ok so there are a whole bunch of articles about the premier here, there, and everywhere.  I guess they usually give it some finishing touches, but when Alliance comes out and says “yeah its pretty much out everywhere” and i can’t find it, i get frustrated.  Every video is like this.  Movies are the worst.  If i get magically rich, i am going to create a production studio, we are going to release a movie into the theatres, then right when its out, its going to be for sale on DVD.  Shit yeah.  Brad is going to come through this post and either delete it or re edit all of it.

Need a Sponsor-Me Video?

Click on that link over there to the right…

That Was A Good Summer

If you don’t like this record, you’re a damn fool.

Featured Rider – Justin Sellers

I’m going to keep this short because it’s 1:00 AM and I have to get up and go to work tomorrow.

Here’s a little background on Justin Sellers: the kid can’t do regular heelside frontside spins. He used to be able to, but somewhere along the line, he developed this brain fart that would physically prevent him from doing them. Well imagine my surprise when Nick called me last week to inform me that Justin not only re-learned a frontside 3, but a frontside 5 as well. I was pretty amused with this alone, but then a few days later Justin himself called to tell me he landed a wake to wake heelside frontside 720 and that he got it on film. Pretty awesome.

Anyway, Justin asked me to put together a short video that he could show some people who might be interested in hooking him up, so I put this little bad boy together last night. It’s really short, and it’s not the best quality, but you can get a pretty good idea of how versatile the dude really is.

As a side note, I don’t think Justin can jump the wake heelside. If he were to come in and try to just do a straight heelside air, he would just inadvertently do a back roll. I’m 100% serious.

Wakeboarding Coming Soon

In the meantime, go watch “Airplane.”

Elephants and Jackasses

Nope, nothing new. I just wanted to let everybody know that over the weekend, I either broke up or walked away from no less than three conversations about politics between Justin Sellers and Tim Boyer. It was seriously like Obama vs. McCain in my kitchen, except the candidates were hammered drunk and neither one was wearing shoes.

Keeping in the political spirit, I found this video online today. Now if anyone knows me, it’s no secret that I am a huge fan of the punk rock music. I do realize, however, how ridiculous some punk rock dudes can be, and this video is a pretty good example of such ridiculousness. Just as a side note, the second guy in the video plays in a really good band from Chicago called The Lawrence Arms. Check out their jams if you’re into that kind of thing.

CheahFest 2008 – The Beginning

At 6:43 on Friday morning, I got a text message from Nick Joseph. Now, usually, if you’re hearing from Nick any earlier than 10:00 AM, it’s a sure sign that something is very very wrong, but the text was a surprisingly calm “check your email.” I did, and I had the following video waiting in my inbox.

It’s only mid-April, and Nick’s already getting hammers on film. I’m totally biased because he’s one of my best friends, but keep your eyes on this kid over the next few months. Dude’s going to turn some heads this summer and I’m pretty psyched to put together a solid video part for him.

Of course, if he doesn’t quit giving me shit about how slack I am, I’m just going to beat his ass. And believe me, I could. I’m pretty strong.

WordPress is Pretty Smart

So I was checking out the blog stats today and noticed that I had some stuff in my spam folder. Usually, there’s only a few messages in there telling me about cheap Viagra and full length Anna Nicole Smith videos, but I noticed there were quite a few messages, so I opened up the folder.

Lo and behold, there were about 7 or 8 comments that Tim Boyer tried to post over the past couple of months. Now, granted, they were all either making fun of me directly or disagreeing with something I said, so in all reality, they don’t really bring much value to the table and WordPress was probably right to deny them the opportunity to be read by all four people who actually visit this site.

Nevertheless, I’ve corrected the matter and this is my public apology to Tim. Hopefully he will continue to make fun of and disagree with me in the future. Even if he is a total jackass and none of his arguments hold any water.

Mashups – Summer 2007

A long time ago, I diagnosed myself with Seasonal Affective Disorder. While it’s not officially accepted as a distinct psychological disorder, those who suffer from S.A.D. experience patterns of depressive or manic episodes that occur with the onset of the winter months. Cold weather always puts me in a lousy mood, and when you add clouds and rain to the equation, I’m downright miserable.

Having said that, those of you who live in western North Carolina can imagine how my past week or so has been. It’s April for God’s sake; it’s supposed to be nice and warm, but no, every day I leave the house in a jacket because it’s 40 degrees outside and it won’t get past 60 all day. Oh yeah, it’s also been drizzling steadily for several days now.

The only upside to the crappy weather is that it has practically forced me to sit down and get some editing done. Nick and I have been talking about doing a Mashup of footage from last summer for a while now, and the past few days have been just the excuse I needed to make it happen. I know things have been scarce around here lately, but hopefully this will be the turning point and things will start happening around here a little more often.

So anyway, here’s the video…check it out. In the meantime, I’m going to be looking for a warmer place to live.

UPDATE: I would also like to add that if you don’t think Biggie Smalls was and is the greatest rapper of all time, just go ahead and punch yourself in the head. Then, go to your mama’s house and punch her in the head for raising such a fool.